If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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