yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
