If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I can't put those talents on a resume
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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