TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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