My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
