He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
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I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize