It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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