thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
