so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize