in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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