oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
