Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
