let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
