I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
