I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
