honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
