Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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