So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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