I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
