bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he fucked my hip out of place.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
