You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.