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• (818): View more from California

  yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Your mouth is God's brothel.

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• (415): View more from California

  I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota

  (415): View more from California

  everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy

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• (585): View more from New York

  So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently

  (540): View more from Virginia

  and skipped dinner

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.

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• (415): View more from California

  I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?

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• (234): View more from Ohio

  What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this

  (260): View more from Indiana

  You're my fucking hero

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