Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
