Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize