Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?

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  (808): Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes? http://tfl.nu/1azu
  Replies (2) Good night (691) Bad night (2557)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind

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  (201): i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind http://tfl.nu/v27a
  Replies (7) Good night (3250) Bad night (1482)
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  (530): View more from California

  I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.

  (1-530): View more from California

  fuck. you.

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  (530): I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight. (1-530): fuck. you. http://tfl.nu/1kgv
  Replies (54) Good night (12205) Bad night (1837)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.

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  (904): Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is. http://tfl.nu/v4zj
  Replies (49) Good night (9279) Bad night (1410)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.

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  (937): Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault. http://tfl.nu/6aqr
  Replies (11) Good night (2430) Bad night (1573)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.

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  (561): She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal. http://tfl.nu/us8h
  Replies (3) Good night (1774) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized

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  (847): Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized http://tfl.nu/hh8z
  Replies (16) Good night (2623) Bad night (589)
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  (559): View more from California

  I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.

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  (559): I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me. http://tfl.nu/4goz
  Replies (7) Good night (1139) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"

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  (907): We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass" http://tfl.nu/blwo
  Replies (9) Good night (540) Bad night (2167)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.

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  (810): I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me. http://tfl.nu/noof
  Replies (10) Good night (584) Bad night (1579)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.

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  (201): Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics. http://tfl.nu/mn0a
  Replies (6) Good night (842) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.

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  (917): KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP. http://tfl.nu/9fya
  Replies (7) Good night (1533) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.

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  (940): I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him. http://tfl.nu/9uqa
  Replies (15) Good night (2109) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"

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  (613): The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO" http://tfl.nu/6o6m
  Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I believe they call that patchouli.

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  (631): Whatever she smells like compost and feathers. (508): I believe they call that patchouli. http://tfl.nu/ql5w
  Replies (7) Good night (602) Bad night (725)

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