I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
