Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
