Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
