youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
