i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
