Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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