I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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