u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
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