I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
