a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
