we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
