It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
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