I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You took a bar mat shot.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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