He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
