she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize