he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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