your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
