Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
