Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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