Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
