dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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