Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
