we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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