my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
