are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
