its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
