Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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