I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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