So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
