you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
