I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
