WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
