apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
