I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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