i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
