if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
