You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
