she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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