don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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