I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
