It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
