using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
