so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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